through

Day 12 on GAPS intro and I’m pretty much over it. Over the worst of the detox and over broth and stewed meat. I need to keep broth as a three-times-a-day staple though so I better learn to like it. I don’t dislike it, it’s just that I’m ready for crunchy salads. And something baked. Because my body is getting a steady supply of healthy fats, I have nearly no sugar cravings. Sometimes I crave nut butter, but I haven’t even had honey but for in the milk kefir on occasion. It’s incredible to think that you can squash sugar cravings by staying satisfied with good fat. 

I’m consuming quite a bit of coconut oil daily, which I just spoon into my broth until it dissolves. Folks drink it in their coffee and smoothies — it’s so versatile. It is anti inflammatory, helps metabolism, and even addresses hormonal imbalances. Then it has just as many beneficial topical properties. Plus it tastes and smells amazing. I’ve used it for many things over the years. 

I am obviously craving certain foods, per my sleep talking night before last. My husband quoted me as saying, “I love pizza. (long pause)… I want pizza.” I do love and want pizza. If only it loved me back. At any rate, it’ll be a long while before I am able to enjoy anything as doughy as “real” pizza. I’ve made so many variations of pizza crust over the years. Gluten free crust isn’t even intimidating any longer, compared to finding a good GAPS dough. I’ll just tell ya now, coconut flour in pizza dough is disgusting. And so is squash crust. And nobody ate my cauliflower crust pizza, either. There’s only been one crust that is grain free and has passed the fussy family test, and that’s Fathead pizza dough (egg, cream cheese, almond floor, shredded cheese). I’l have to make my own kefir cream cheese, and skip the mozzarella for fermented cheese, but I will be eating that eventually and I can’t wait. Pizza is so dreamy, clearly. 

The ferments are alive and well like a successful science experiment. My kitchen is quite the lab at the moment. I read that one tablespoon of sauerkraut is equal to 1 bottle of probiotics. I’m hoping this is true as I have two more weeks on my kraut and then I can eat it. It’s recommended to let it go four weeks because it goes through three very specific bacteria stages in that time. I have half a gallon of kraut which costs me about $2 to make, and it is the equivalent of 32 bottles of (100 capsules) probiotics. This is homesteader wisdom and exchange rate: my kind of math. 

I’ve lost about a pound a day since beginning the diet. That’s not a bad thing, as I have extra. But, the goal is to heal internally, more than anything else. I haven’t had the energy I’ve wanted, but I think it’ll come back once I move to the next stage. I’ve also had some deep grieving through this. Remarkable how the gut and brain are connected so intricately. I’ve been steering my way through a lot of emotional and mental traffic, with little physical comfort. I am sensing how incredibly hemmed in I am in this season, with nowhere to go but through. It reminds me a bit of having a baby. You become so restless and nothing feels good, but there isn’t going to be relief until you come out on the other side. There’s only one way out, and it’s through. 

So, here’s to pushing through that ring of fire, that I would gain something incredible. Oh, and to pizza! I’ll do about anything for that.