detox

Well… I’m 4 days into Stage 1 GAPS and there is no question my body is detoxing hard. Yesterday my face was rashy and bumpy and I knew toxins were coming to the surface. This is the only time to be thrilled about acne. I fluctuate between hot and cold several times a day. I’m not sure what that means other than my blood sugar levels are probably roller coastering. I’m fatigued and experiencing muscle malaise but it’s not forever. It’s basically everything you feel while fasting. My heart races then slows over and over. I also experience this with intense fasting. I have arrhythmia anyhow so it’s not too alarming. I’m remembering all of this from last time I was here. Hard resets are, well, hard, but there’s something very sanctified about the right kind of hard. I’m setting my eyes on the prize. 

Stage 1 duration time is different for everyone. If I was dealing with extreme digestive issues I’d be forced to commit to a very extended run with it. My digestive track is not up in arms (thankful) so much of my staying on stage 1 is to reseal my gut lining that I wouldn’t become inflamed with each thing I put into my body. I need to absorb the good stuff, not pass it along. This means strict elimination of hard to digest foods, and adding in rich broth and good fat/oils to heal my gut and brain. I’m staying this course until my eye clears up entirely. Thankfully I do enjoy soups and stewed meat so I have that in my favor. But if you know anything about stage 1 GAPS you know it’s a very limited menu (just a handful of stewed meats and veggies). I have to approach it as a true fast (not diet) that is unto something better. This is my medicine and the remedy, and I want to get well.

Currently, my days are full of starting back to all the ferments I let fall to the wayside. I’ve got kraut bubbling, and dilly carrots getting fizzy, but those don’t even come in for another 2 stages. I’m straining Kombucha today and starting the second ferment, and just started 3 quarts of water kefir. Since it’s cold out it’ll take a bit longer to ferment which is just fine for my trajectory time. One thing I am doing in stage 1 that you don’t normally do, is drinking raw milk kefir daily. Since there’s no fruit until much later I just add a little raw honey and slurp it down (raw honey is the only sweetener allowed for awhile). I had some terrible die off the first day and I’m certain it was the combination of the strong probiotics, kefir, and anti inflammatory supplements. What a shock to my system. I did an Epsom salt soak, certain the water would be some sort of radioactive green. I can recall when it wouldn’t have been a shock, because that was my norm. It’s an interesting (love/hate) feeling to become reacquainted with health again.

Being kind and nourishing to my body has been a real struggle. I don’t think most of us intend to deprive and neglect ourselves, but it happens in light of other demands. I’m having to sit in some weighty reflections right now, as I consider the ways I have abused my body. Many were intentional, some were not. You can’t go about journeys like this and not have an honest look at why you do what you do, or don’t do what you should do. Diets will become fads and have no real bearing on our day to day choices. I’ve been guilty of repairing myself just enough to jump ship again for a time. It’s incredibly difficult to stay a course when you’re only waiting for the relief. When it comes, you quit rowing. Maybe that’s permissible for a short while, but jumping ship is not. Lord, I have been a ship jumper in every way. 

While at my last optometrist visit it was decided that if this uveitis returns, I’ll be headed to the rheumatologist. I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I understand the way most treat chronic inflammation is with steroids or immunosuppressive drugs. I am playing out the scenario in my mind, and I see a heavy regimen of steroids ahead. I’m already committed to another 3 weeks of steroid eye drops. If you’ve ever been on steroids for any length of time you understand they are insane. I mean, it’s great for a few days because of the stamina (and the way it hits my ADD brain) but it’s not sustainable. Some folks have to go that route but all I can see for me is more drugs to suppress symptoms. And then drugs to suppress those symptoms. I don’t think there’s anything the rheumatologist could tell me (as far as underlying autoimmune diseases is concerned) that can’t be addressed through this path here. No matter what’s going on, my body needs to heal, not be suppressed. Also, can I just say I’m getting a new taste for getting old? It’s almost as if you spend the latter decades of your life trying to undo what you did in the beginning ones. We are such obtuse creatures, aren’t we? 

Well, in closing, I’m hungry and pretty sure my stomach is eating itself. But whatever… it’s better than going freaking blind. I’ll drink (bone broth) to that! Cheers! 

P.S. My gal Molly just pointed me towards a really inspiring Netflix series called The Paleo Way. Just a few episodes in and it’s phenomenal. Have a look-see and tell me what you think.